Winner: Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report"
Why: He tried out for the Knicks, mocked Kim Jong-il, and reported, in the most epic style possible, about the disappearance of King Tuts penis. It was a fantastic day for Colbert, who kicked his usual charm up a notch, which can usually ensure a win. So here it is, Colbert. Enjoy it.
Loser: Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"
Why: It was focused entirely on soccer and the World Cup, which, if it had more of John Oliver screaming at Stewart, would have been excellent. But it didn't, and the interview with U.S. team coach and a player, was boring. Not Stewarts fault, but it was still dull.
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